Teeth cleaning

Today I took Sarah to have her teeth cleaned. Its something we have to do for health. While we do try to brush her teeth once or twice a day....its hard to do. She is somewhat resistant, but improving. Regardless of that we take her every 6 months for a cleaning at an excellent peds dentist who works with lots of special needs kids. But for Sarah to have her teeth cleaned she must either be sedated or restrained. We go with the later because its less risky for her and actually the dentist would prefer not to sedate her. However its pretty unpleasant for me. She screams the whole time and little tears run down the side of her face. I don't think the cleaning is really painful but its the fact that she is being restrained and her mouth is pried open and held that way...its traumatic for her but not painful. I was thinking last night...what if I sat out in the waiting room? Would she feel I had deserted her? Or when I am right there with them does she blame me or think I should rescue her? Likely I will never know. But I go in each time and hold her while she is put on a frame and strapped down. I hold her while the cleaning is taking place...because she is SO stinking strong she would likely squirm out of the restraints...the whole time reassuring her that she is OKAY. Its still rather unpleasant and I leave ruffled of mind and body. The muscles in my arms were shaking when they finished from working so hard to help hold her down. Its over now and I don't have to do it agian for 6 mos! Yippee! And the little bit of joy (because there is often some even in many unpleasant things) as soon as she was released...she grabbed me and held me and didn't want me to let go....that was nice...