Mama's Boy
So why is Timothy a mama's boy? Well likely everyone would have a different answer if you asked them. Do I spoil him? Do I baby him? I don't know. But I do know that he has a relentless desire to be with me. To kiss me and to cuddle with me and just spend time with me. But a couple of days ago he said something that made me think about why this might be. Out of nowhere he asked me why I love Sarah more than him. Whoa! Back the truck up!! That is of course NOT the case but something must be going on to make him think that. I answered him immediately and told him that I DO NOT love Sarah more than him or any of my children more than the others. They are all equally loved and treasured.
What I did explain is that Sarah requires more from me than he does and she always will. And I think to a child, almost 5, seeing that she gets more time, more attention, she ALWAYS sits next to me at meals, etc....... equates to I must love her more. We had a good talk about Sarah and her needs.
It been an interesting time with Timothy lately as he has had lots of questions about her and about why she is the way she is, will she ever talk, why not, why is her brain different than his. Even the statement that he does not think she should not be a part of our family. And this is not said in a mean or hurtful way I just think he is processing things now that the rest of us already have. He is just coming into an understanding of his special needs sister and verbalizing it. Do you want to know why he thought that? I asked, of course. He said because she is hard to take care of. So we talked then about how he can be hard to take care of sometimes and less desirable character traits and does that mean HE shouldn't be a part of our family. Of course not. But WOW.
Its been interesting on many levels. Seeing him gain an understanding of Sarah and having some teachable moments about people and the importance of them not resting on what they contribute. About Sarah being planned for our family by God. But its also made me think about my own attitude and actions and the times I am so frustrated with Sarah and all the multiple duties involved with caring for her. Have I complained....oh yes! And what has he heard? I am ashamed. I can't change the past but can guard myself for the future. And in the mean time make sure that he understands I love him just as much as Sarah and Jacob and Andrew!!
What I did explain is that Sarah requires more from me than he does and she always will. And I think to a child, almost 5, seeing that she gets more time, more attention, she ALWAYS sits next to me at meals, etc....... equates to I must love her more. We had a good talk about Sarah and her needs.
It been an interesting time with Timothy lately as he has had lots of questions about her and about why she is the way she is, will she ever talk, why not, why is her brain different than his. Even the statement that he does not think she should not be a part of our family. And this is not said in a mean or hurtful way I just think he is processing things now that the rest of us already have. He is just coming into an understanding of his special needs sister and verbalizing it. Do you want to know why he thought that? I asked, of course. He said because she is hard to take care of. So we talked then about how he can be hard to take care of sometimes and less desirable character traits and does that mean HE shouldn't be a part of our family. Of course not. But WOW.
Its been interesting on many levels. Seeing him gain an understanding of Sarah and having some teachable moments about people and the importance of them not resting on what they contribute. About Sarah being planned for our family by God. But its also made me think about my own attitude and actions and the times I am so frustrated with Sarah and all the multiple duties involved with caring for her. Have I complained....oh yes! And what has he heard? I am ashamed. I can't change the past but can guard myself for the future. And in the mean time make sure that he understands I love him just as much as Sarah and Jacob and Andrew!!
posted by Heather | 1/11/2008 01:33:00 PM
1 Comments:
There isn't much comment to be made about this except to say you sure handled it well and to tell you not to be too hard on yourself when you remember times that you might have expressed yourself in seeming complaint. We would be not human if we didn't get frustrated to overflowing sometimes with things and need to let the feelings out. But it is good too that you see this and know that they need a control on the faucet so that it doesn't influence any hearer in the wrong way. Timothy is such a deep thinker at this point that it makes me wonder where his thinking will go as he grows up. I am glad you are feeding his mind with good things and teaching him spiritual truths so young. What a dear little boy he his. Love, MOM
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